HOTU hat wieder neue Spielchen für die Kaffeepause, ich pick euch mal die Kirschen raus: Wire Hang Redux, Spout, FlapFlapFlap und Version 1.04 von Warning Forever. Spout und WF gehören zum Pflichtprogramm.
Jetzt weiss ich warum’s mir nicht gelingen will:
The secret to writing about videogames well — nay, the secret to living well with videogames in your life, at any rate — is to always have a good-looking woman by your side. No, it’s to have a very, very large rod, and a very good-looking woman to touch the tip of that rod, with four of her fingers, making a motion something like chalking a pool cue. It helps if the woman is maybe a foot shorter than you, maybe a foot and a half. So you play a videogame, and the woman touches your rod while you play the videogame, and this way, your mind is full of thoughts of a woman touching your rod while you’re playing a videogame, and then if you write something about that experience, leaving out the part about the woman, the fact that she’s twio feet shorter than you, and the conjecture that she was touching your rod like a pool cue, you will have a piece of writing about videogames, yet it will be colored by your having been having your rod touched like a pool cue, in itself an instrument of a game, by a good-looking woman either a foot or a foot and a half shorter than you while you were playing that game. This will make the writing flow, and reading that writing later, you will be able to fondly remember the look on that woman’s face when she smiled when she first beheld the girth of your rod.
Ja ich vernachlässige diese Seite. Shit. Sogar an diesem Wochenende an dem wahrlich mehr als genug Zeit war hab ich nix gepostet, obwohl direkt vor mir kleine Notizen mit Themen kleben. Stattdessen habe ich die freie Zeit genutzt um endlich wieder ein paar Videospiele zu spielen – statt nur darüber zu lesen.
Der Metagamer wird wieder zum Gamer. Neu angefangen: Super Mario Sunshine – Vielleicht raff ich mich diesmal auf, Bowser zu killen. Weitergespielt: Chrono Trigger – Vor Weihnachten angefangen. Das absolute Über-Rollenspiel (EX!). Im letzten Dungeon damals abgebrochen, jetzt weitergelevelt. Nächste Woche ist der Endgegner dran. Zone Of The Enders: 2nd Runner. ENDLICH Vic Viper besiegt und Level 3 geschafft. An dem hab ich lange geknackt. Gestern morgen hab ich mich hingesetzt und ihn PLATTGEMACHT. In höchstens 6 Versuchen (davon 2 ernsthafte). Und natürlich FF:TA. Wegen E3 und Uni-Stress für 2 Wochen auf Eis gelegt. Heute in Bochum am Hbf den ersten Endgegner besiegt. Far Cry wollte ich auch nochmal ne Chance geben – hab’ ich auch. Leider hat Far Cry bei mir verkackt. Das Spiel besteht daraus, dass man sich im Trial-and-Error-Verfahren von Speicherpunkt zu Speicherpunkt hangelt. Spannung Fehlanzeige. Plot idiotisch. Stattdessen eine Diashow bei mehr als 2 Leuten auf dem Bildschirm. Tut mir leid aber PC-Spiele bringens echt nicht (Note to self: Demnächst mal über 3-4 Seiten erläutern warum). Stop! Es gibt Ausnahmen: Gish, Triptych und Guild Wars. Die ersten beiden sind grandiose Minispielchen die ich schon gespielt hab. Letzteres verspricht der Diablo Killer zu werden (diesmal aber wirklich). Go read the review. Die Screenshots sind auch sehr beeindruckend.
n8in8
And there’s another problem, there.
Jak is a hero to the people, right? He’s a hero, one might be able to deduce, because the city needs a hero, because the instruction manual introductory text refers to the Baron of the city as an “evil” Baron. The entire city is under the rule of this fearsome Baron’s fearsome Crimson Guards, of whom you kill many in your quest to get revenge. The Crimson Guards of Haven City are a lot like Grand Theft Auto’s police officers, in that they all look the same and will attack you if you shoot them. However, there is a bewildering piece of… bewilderment at work here. Which is to say: The Guards, in the storyline, exist to kill random civilians and spread terror, yet if you should run into a civilian on your jet-board, they will shoot you as a criminal. Not only this: you, Jak, exist as a hero to the people, yet your main method of transportation in the city involves throwing them out of their cars and onto the pavement many dangerous meters beneath.
Why can you steal cars at all, you wonder? Well, because that’s what you can do in Grand Theft Auto. That’s how you get around the city — by stealing cars. Now, I have said, of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, that I feel no pride for my cars when I steal them. I don’t mind when they blow up, or get shot up. I don’t mind taking them off bridges. This is okay, however, as all of Grand Theft Auto takes place in that gritty city world where you drive around in stolen cars listening to eighties music on the radio. The story is non-existent (no, don’t try to tell me Vice City’s popsicle-sticks-glued-with-yogurt statue of a Scorcese picture is a “story,” because I will shotgun your kneecaps) and the characters aren’t people we should care about so much as blank slates for us to doodle on with motorcycles.
I said, in my review of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and it was a glowing one, that I long for one of these go-anywhere, do-anything games in a modern setting that endows me with pride for my automobile. I want a game where I am a normal guy, and I can’t steal cars; however, I can own one, maybe even own one bought after saving up a lot of money through fighting RPG-style random battles? I want to do things like forget where I parked that car, and go all around the city looking for it, teeth clenched like an asshole, mashing buttons on my game controller because of my own damned fault. To me, that’s the future of freedom in videogames. Shame on Jak II on two levels, then, for giving me a wondrous Jet Board, which can be used at any time (even during the final boss fight!) with a click of the R2 button, and not letting me use it as my main method of transportation in the over-world. I get bumped off that Jet Board whenever I run into a Crimson Guard on the streets. I don’t get bumped off it when I run into an enemy in the Strip Mine level. Why is this, really?
Sätze wie dieser:
It reminds me not of Goldeneye for Nintendo 64, nor of Mission: Impossible for that same system; rather, it reminds me of the difference between the two games, and how those “videogame journalists” who take their positions as “social institutions” too seriously jumped the gun and called the latter game a “killer” of the former one because you could navigate through a net of lasers while hanging from dental floss in the latter, even though the latter game was full of challenges you’d swear to never play again, and then never play again, and the former was full of things you played immediately again upon completing them. Zu geil…
_ An intellectual game is a game in which the creator has attempted to say something through the art of interactivity. I don’t think I’d use the term intellectual myself, but I’m pretty sure I know what he’s getting at. If you think this has to involve a story, you lose. Entertainment is overrated. Fun is a meaningless word._
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